Top 10 Facts and Tips from Award Winning Blog: Menopausal Mom

menopauseentertainmenttop 10midlifelifestyle

Sep 22

Written By Tera Johnson-Swartz

Special guest, Marcia Kestor Doyle from award winning blog Menopausal mom, has been so gracious to share some of her wisdom with us. She also has featured my original post, my menopause story. it’s been such an honor to learn more about this veteran midlifer…

Thanks Marcia!

Click Here To Read Midlife It's Featured Piece on Menopausal Mom's blog!

You've been writing for the blog Menopausal Mom for over a decade. What or who inspired you to share your First Menopausal Moment with the world?

In 2009, I lost my best friend---my sister, and she was the one who always encouraged me to write humor. I started my blog 2 years after she passed away, partly to honor her wish but also to connect with other women experiencing menopause.

I wanted to send a universal message that menopause wasn't so bad if you focused on the funny aspect of the symptoms, such as hot flashes, mood swings, and forgetfulness.

Trust me---it's a blessing to not be able to remember some of the stupid stuff I did in the past---so bring on the menopause brain fog!

2. The Awards page on your site is impressive - and intimidating! What has been your most successful post? Why do you think it was appealing?

My first article to go viral was published in The Huffington Post many years ago. It was an op-ed about teenagers titled, Are We Raising An Ungrateful Generation?

I never imagined the attention that post (a non-humor one!) would bring---it led to radio shows, podcasts, and several invites to publish work on other websites. My career really took off after garnering all of that exposure.

3. As a semi-empty nester - three chinchillas, three pugs, and one, feisty granddaughter?! - what's become your new midlife focus or purpose beyond blogging? How did that come to be?

Blogging was always meant to be a stepping stone in my career. I knew from the start that I wanted to go beyond blogging to writing a humor book, eventually a memoir, (still working on that), and writing articles for well-known websites and digital magazines. Blogging was the start of getting my name out there, and after several years of hard work, it all paid off.

Today I'm doing what I've always dreamed of---living the life of a full-time freelance writer. What that actually means is that I get to sit in my bathrobe all day long in front of my laptop and watch squirrels mating in the oak trees outside my home office window.

4. You've mentioned Erma Bombeck as your biggest role model. Could you share how you found out about her and what about her writing influenced you the most?

I grew up with Erma's books in my house. My mother also read Erma's syndicated newspaper column out loud at the breakfast table to entertain us before school. Oddly enough, Erma Bombeck was also the speaker at my college graduation. She was amazing, warm, funny and so relatable---I loved her encouraging words to our graduating class and knew from that moment on that I wanted to write like her. She had the gift of finding the extraordinary in an ordinary and turning it into a story that made people laugh. Erma brought so much laughter and light wherever she went.

Check Out Erma Bombeck's Popular Books

5. I love your sense of humor - laughter IS the best medicine. Have you found most middle-aged women connect with your comedy? Have any been petty or given you a hard time over the years?

The majority of readers on my blog seem to enjoy my weird brand of humor and often tell me they can relate---especially when I discuss the spousal fights over the thermostat when I'm hot flashing (and setting the dial on sub-zero temperatures) or complaining about the food baby I've been carrying around for 10 years( that refuses to be born). They love these stories because they can relate to them, and I make it clear that we are all in this menopause thing together so why not laugh about it?

95% of the negative remarks and emails I have received have come from men

But I have had my share of trolls. The Huffington Post piece brought out the worst of them---people wrote that I was a terrible writer, a terrible mother....and whatever negative garbage they could sling at me. It was a hard lesson but I quickly learned NEVER to read the comments on a controversial article. 95% of the negative remarks and emails I have received have come from men. A handful of women have told me that they didn't appreciate my menopause humor because to them, it was a difficult time in their life and they could find nothing funny about it. I have to respect that---menopause is something we all experiencing individually and it isn't fair to lump our symptoms into a one-size-fits-all category. But my mission is to bring laughter to women who are wondering if the physical and emotional changes they're experiencing are normal and to assure them that they are not alone.

6. Menopause can definitely feel isolating for women who haven't found their flock or sisterhood just yet. Did you have a group before your blog hit the virtual racks or did it evolve as the momentum of your website took off?

I had a handful of female neighborhood friends who were my age and sharing similar menopause symptoms simultaneously (we were easy to spot at the block parties---we were the women with mini, battery-operated fans in our hands). They appreciated my funny outlook on the "change of life" and encouraged me to start a menopause blog. I did, and it grew pretty quickly after the first year---mostly by word-of-mouth.
Once I created a Facebook page for my blog, that's when things really started to take off. I adore my readers---their support has kept me going during some rough times when I was ready to throw in the towel on my writing career.
Whenever I thought of pulling the plug on the blog, some sweet reader would DM me on social media and tell me that it was refreshing to find a kindred spirit who understood the reality of menopause, or another reader who wrote that my humor was keeping her sane during the worst part of her life.
*Women like this are my tribe and I feel incredibly grateful to have them with me on this menopause journey.*

Screen-Shot-2020-08-18-at-8.52.55-PM.png

7. You've definitely got a following of great women on your social media outlets. Have you met anyone interesting or famous on your journey that's surprised you?

Every two years since 2014, I've attended the Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop in Dayton, Ohio. It has been an incredible opportunity to meet all of my favorite humor writers and develop some close friendships with many of them. We belong to a few private Facebook groups where we chat regularly about our families, our writing careers, and celebrate each other's successes.

These ultra-talented women have been a godsend and I am honored to be their friend. As for meeting a famous writer, I've idolized Jenny Lawson for a long time and was beyond thrilled when I met her at one of the Erma conventions. She was very sweet and kind to me--- I thought I was going to faint with joy when she offered to write a blurb for my book!

8. Since you've written and published your first well-received book, Who Stole My Spandex?: Life In The Hot Flash Lane, where do you see yourself in the next five years? Writing? Traveling? Starting a new venture?

*I'm nearing retirement age, but what does that really mean, anyway? Writers never stop writing. We can't. It's in our blood.*
Five years from now, I hope to finish another book---either a collection of new humor essays or possibly that memoir I've been dreaming about. I'll continue to write personal essays and content material for websites because the pay is undeniably good.
*I also want to put together a personal cookbook with interesting antidotes and a bit of family history sprinkled in---this would just be for my kids' eyes only.*
As for travel, my husband and I plan on getting an RV in the next year or two and hitting the road. We'd like to explore state parks all across the U.S. but of course, I will keep writing during those times. I need to stay busy during RV living or else I will get fat from giving in to the demands of my food baby (who cries for tacos all day long).

9. You've done a lot of amazing things in your life - raised four kids, written a kick-ass blog, won several awards, published a book, traveled around the world, and made a career out of freelance writing for popular websites. What would you consider to be your greatest achievement so far?

My greatest accomplishment is my children and seeing what wonderful parents they have turned out to be raising my three grandchildren. I'm also very proud to be married to my amazing, hilarious husband for 37 years. He is the inspiration behind every humor article that I've written.

Other than that, my greatest career achievement was being published in The New York Times (Raising A Twinless Twin). The day I received the editor's acceptance email was by far one of the best days of my life. I don't think I stopped shaking with excitement for a week!

10. You've been on your menopause journey for 10 years. What is something you know now that you wish you knew when you first started?

I wish I hadn't worried so much about the bodily changes I was experiencing. I was obsessed with my weight and mortified at how much I was gaining during that time. I should have trusted the process and believed that in time, menopause would end and I'd get back to my normal self.

I wish that I had started on anti-depressants earlier for my wicked mood swings. I put up with some dangerous, dark lows for several years before finally taking my doctor's advice and getting on meds to balance the anxiety and depression. It made a world of difference for me.

No matter what happens to any of us on this journey into menopause, it's important to remember that it won't last forever, that we're not alone, and that we have to learn how to laugh at ourselves every now and then when things get rough.

Life is short---enjoy the ride, bumps and all!