Top 10 Ways Perimenopause Helped Me Get My Sh*t Together

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Nov 24

Special guest, K.E. Garland, award winning non-fiction author from The blog Navigating The CHange, is my kind of writer. She finds the silver lining in midlife, but not without some hard truths and humor. She’s also featured my guest blog on her site, My Experience With Midlife (So Far). it’s been so fun meeting another woman that can relate and share her experiences with other midlifers…

Thanks Kathy!

Click Here To Read Midlife It's Featured Piece on Navigating The Change's blog!

Perimenopause is no joke. For me, it’s been a whirlwind of physical and biological changes that I didn’t ask for. It’s been a steep learning curve. Even though I wasn’t prepared, I now understand the assignment. For me, perimenopause is here to help me get my shit together!

Perimenopause helped me to pay attention to my body.

One of the clearest signs that I was entering perimenopause was because I began having two menstrual cycles per month. However, I ignored this blatant physical symptom and listened to an “expert,” who assured me I was nowhere near menopause.
*He was wrong. I was right at the beginning of it, and in that instance, I should’ve paid attention to my body, not a doctor. Now, I know better.*

2. Perimenopause helped me to learn about my body.

Prior to my forties, my period used to come like clockwork between twenty-eight and thirty days. After the bi-monthly cycles, my body began to menstruate whenever it felt like it. Since I couldn’t trust a doctor to clearly explain what was happening, I began researching on my own. For the first time, I learned about the purpose of hormones, like estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. Dropping levels explained night sweats, crime-scene periods, and lower libido, respectively.

3. Perimenopause helped me to embrace change.

I don’t deal with unexpected life changes very well; however, perimenopause is one of those life things that you must face. After lamenting my youth and everything that comes with it, I delved into embracing this time period by creating a website called Navigating the Change.

Aside from sharing other women’s stories, it has helped me to develop a different perspective about menopause and perimenopause. For example, Dr. Madeline Sutton provides six ways to navigate the change, and one of them is maintaining your sexy. In essence, she showed me how this is just a phase, like all phases of life.

4. Perimenopause has helped me to eat to live.

All my life, I’ve lived to eat. I LOVE to eat all of the things. Fine dining, fast food, homecooked food, it doesn’t matter. I love all of it. Perimenopause slowed that all the way down. Like many women my age, I developed some digestive issues. Consequently, I’ve had to watch my portions and determine if I have an allergy or sensitivity to some foods. At this point, I use food to fuel my body, instead of merely as entertainment during social gatherings.

Check Out Navigating The Change's Food and Diet Tips

5. Perimenopause has removed my fear of supplements.

Throughout my life, I’ve steered clear of medications of all kinds, including supplements. But digestive issues had me seeking the nearest pharmacist. A midlife coach named Karen, was the first person to suggest taking a probiotic. Ginger tea wasn’t working, so I figured I’d give probiotics a try. Two months in, my belly was no longer bloated, and I felt more like my normal self. Of course, you should talk to your physician first, but every health podcast I’ve listened to agrees; taking a daily probiotic is fine.

6. Perimenopause helped me to be kinder to every woman.

After experiencing the beginning stage of menopause, a lightbulb went off. Every single woman on earth has gone through menopause. Every single woman on earth will go through menopause. Most women have experienced this transition silently. I know because, with the exception of my mother-in-law, not one woman in my family has said anything to me about it.
*That sounds lonely to me. If anything should bind us, it’s all of these midlife issues. We should give a head nod and fist bump to every woman we encounter, just because!*
*So, I’ve vowed to be kinder to all women, no matter their age, with the understanding that they are probably experiencing something familiar to both of us.*

7. Perimenopause has helped me to be more authentic.

I’ve always been pretty open, but perimenopause really made me stop and think. When someone asks me if I’m okay because they suddenly see me drenched in sweat, do I lie, and say, “Yep. I’m fine”? Or do I say, “Nah. This perimenopause is kicking my ass right now”? I’ve chosen the latter. Whom does it serve to continue to keep menopause symptoms hidden, like a pink sweaty, bloated elephant in the room? I don’t need to lie to make others more comfortable. In fact, I think being more authentic will also help to destigmatize this phase of life.

8. Perimenopause has helped me re-frame my idea of self-care.

*Self-care is literally taking care of yourself. As I mentioned above, I’ve been paying more attention to my body. I’ve been observing my body as an outsider.*
*That cough I’ve had since 2017? It’s time to get a diagnosis.*
*Those drinks I used to have because I couldn’t deal with the day? It’s time to find a different coping mechanism.*
*No one can care about yourself more than you. Don’t get me wrong. I still have regularly scheduled pedicures and meditations. But my health is now my main priority.*

9. Perimenopause has helped to me develop a different definition of self-love.

Like self-care, self-love now means something else to me. I love myself so much that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to be comfortable during this stage of life. I love myself so much that I’m recognizing and releasing the things that no longer serve me, including people, experiences, and jobs. I love myself so much that I trust that I know what’s best for me, and I don’t have to second-guess my intuition.

10. Perimenopause has helped me recognize life is not forever.

None of us wants to think about it, right? But the truth is, this is midlife. You are now facing your demise. I’ve had to come to grips with the idea of not being here in physical form. I don’t know how many more years I have, but I do know I don’t want to spend them doing a bunch of shit that wastes my time or sucks the flippin life out of me!

That’s not what existence is about, and perimenopause has revved up this understanding. My time here is limited. Our time here is limited. Instead of doing meaningless tasks, now is the time to be intentional. And at the risk of sounding cliché, now is the time to live every day as if it’s your last.