5 Reasons to Work with a Coach in Midlife

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Written By Tera Johnson-Swartz

Special guest, Sarah Snape, has helped many women in the throes of midlife and menopause reconnect with themselves and their inner passions. She’s all about living life as a participant - not a bench warmer. And she’s kindly shared some great reasons why midlife is a perfect time to work with a life coach (even if it’s your first time!).

Thanks Sarah!

First, I want to discuss the main reasons and what benefits you can gain from working with a coach in midlife. I’ll start off with a brief explanation of what life-coaching is in case this is all new to you.

What is life-coaching?

“Life-changing,” “encouraging,” “nurturing,” “motivating,” “inspirational” – words my clients have used about the experience of coaching with me and words I would use to describe my own experience of working with coaches.

Life-coaching is a way of supporting people to make change in their life – it could be change in mindset, it may be uncovering what you truly want out of life and what is holding you back. Coaching helps you uncover what is truly important to you and supports you to take action to reach your goals and dreams.  

Coaching is forward focused – where are you now, where do you want to be, and what steps are needed to get there? It supports you in getting from A-B.

As a coach my role is to hold space for you. I actively listen, help you set goals and actions to reach those goals. I help motivate you, provide accountability and a prod (if required!) to help you make the changes you desire. Not forgetting the celebrating of you as you make progress and achieve the change you want. Each “a-ha moment” is worth celebrating.

Why work with a coach in midlife?

  1. It’s not too late to make change

It’s easy when you reach your 40’s, 50’s and beyond to think it’s too late to change or transform your life, your beliefs, your mindset.  I can tell you from experience it’s not.

It’s easy to be getting on with life and not take any time to reflect on what you really want, where you want to be headed. It’s easy to not even question whether what you are doing day to day is what you want to be doing.  Or you can reach what feels like “crisis” point as you’ve ignored the niggle that you want more. Why wait?

“Don’t wait until the achievement of the day is unloading the dishwasher!” (Yep, that was me)

As we approach midlife life can become routine – doing the same thing every day – working, family life and it can feel like you wake up one day and your 45 or 50 or more. How did that happen?

Life maybe fine, you’re not miserable but when you think of everything being the same in a year, or even 5 you know you want something different. Coaching can help you speed up that process and help you make the change and gain clarity more quickly than going it alone.

2. Midlife can be a time of home-life change

If you’ve got children midlife can be the time when they are getting ready to or do leave home. Often referred to as “empty nest” syndrome – that feeling of loss and uncertainty as the house empties. Empty nest is not a term I particularly like myself – I think it sounds redundant, not of any further use. That is certainly not applicable to midlife women who find themselves in that position.

There is no denying it’s a different phase, something new to get used to, a new chapter.

I like to reframe the term empty nest to one of free range or homing pigeons – you can practically guarantee they will be back – raiding the fridge, bringing their washing.

I love this quote:

“I don’t like the term “empty nesters.” I prefer “parents of free-range adults.”

- Robin Fox

As women, we frequently structure our life around family – I did myself – but that does not mean when the day-to-day structure alters, we are no longer valid. It is a new stage. It’s a chance to reflect on our own life and think about what we do.  It provides a freedom that maybe wasn’t there before. A chance to embrace new opportunities, to learn something new.

Working with a coach can help you change your mindset around the children leaving home and support you to change your focus. To find the confidence to embrace the opportunities that come along. To really think about what you want for this next chapter of your life.

3. Midlife is a time of physical change

The majority of women will hit perimenopause and menopause at some stage of midlife. A coach can provide support through the mindset issues that can arise – that feeling of dread, of ageing, of being past it, of it being too late.

With the never-ending pressure in the media to stay young, or at least looking young. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel our best it can make us feel that ageing is a negative, that we are less valuable, less attractive – invisible. So many beauty products are labelled as “anti-aging” whereas in fact we should be pro-ageing. We’re ageing from the day we’re born and yet it becomes such a big thing once we reach our 40’s – the alternative is not preferable!

4. Midlife can be a time of a loss in confidence

One reason midlife can “creep up” on you is down to the routine I mentioned above – we tend to do the same things, with the same people, in the same place and it’s understandable that this routine can also lead to a dip in confidence to try new things or meet new people as our life tends to revolve around the same things every day.

We can also lose confidence as we may have lost some of our identity to “being mum” if we’ve had children, or the physical changes that can happen as we age.

It is all about having the courage to say “yes.”  Saying yes to new opportunities, trying new things – saying yes to you.

Working with a coach can really help you find that courage to say yes – to say yes despite fear or uncertainty. To find ways to work with that little voice in our heads that holds us back and keeps us saying no. I love it when clients find the courage to do something new – each time they do breeds confidence for the next thing. Who knows where you may end up or what you may try? I for one, never thought I would be swinging through the jungle or walking on the seabed at age 48, but I did! And I loved it.

“Confidence is not a requirement to do anything, it is a by-product of doing the thing.”

- Unknown

And it is so true – the more you can find the confidence to “do the thing” the easier it is to do “a thing” next time.

I love seeing the excitement in clients when they’ve found the courage to do something new, said yes to something they would previously have said no to, to make a change – you can see the confidence in their face.

5. Do it for you!

Most midlife women do so much for everyone else we are often at the end of a long list of responsibilities and priorities. 

I passionately believe we should be at the top of our list, even though for many years I wasn’t even on mine. 

It serves not only you, but those you live with, spend time with and work with.

What better way to put yourself first than to create the life you want on your terms? This does not mean you are suddenly going to abandon everyone else (unless that’s what you want!), but don’t you at least deserve a seat at YOUR table. Midlife women do so much to support others that coaching is a brilliant support for you. It is your turn.

Whatever you want – whether it’s to go on an adventure climbing mountains or to live in the country raising chickens – whatever is your dream, the fact it’s your dream is what’s important.  It’s your life to be lived for you, not for other people’s expectations or societies stereotypes of how women of a certain age should be.

You are not too old, it is not too late and if it rocks the boat a bit, better that than capsizing and sinking.

Working with a coach can support you in gaining clarity about what you truly want from this next chapter of life and identify the path to get there. Having a sounding board, someone to truly listen to you is a true gift for yourself. It is a real privilege to support my clients as they grow in confidence in themselves and believe they can get to where they want.

If you would like to see how working with a coach would support you, I’d love to connect. Either find me on Instagram or drop me an email to sarah@sarahjsnape.com.

Sarah, you said it best - Midlife is the best time to re-invent yourself (or just let the real you shine for the world to see).

Ladies, Give her a shout, or find another coach that fuels your fire. Just don’t give up or throw in the towel when life’s real party is just revving up!

Special Featured Guest…

Sarah Snape is a confidence and life coach working with women in midlife – 40’s, 50’s and beyond. Her mission is to empower women to live lives more than “fine” - life’s happening but it feels like it’s lacking something. She strives to support as many women as possible to participate fully in their lives, on their terms and to confidently create the life they desire. Her motto is “It’s MID life, we’ve hopefully got many more years to come.”

Sarah received her certification and qualifications through Beautiful You Coaching Academy and has since coached women through her specialized programs: Transform: 1:1 4 Month Coaching and Breakthrough: 21 Days of Supported Action. She also holds various workshops both on-line and in person.

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Tera Johnson-Swartz
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