What Is Menopause and Other Menopause Questions (part 1)
For centuries middle life was viewed as an honorable, sacred time. Women traded their working and childbearing roles to then be crowned the matriarch of the family; elder, storyteller, healer. And yet somehow, somewhere in history’s fabric, midlife lost its prestige. Age a burden, and menopause, feared or dreaded. But what is menopause?
Physically, it’s just a retirement of the reproductive system: ovaries no longer releasing eggs into the fallopian tubes, the uterus no longer preparing itself to potentially host a growing babe. The hormone levels – estrogen and progesterone – that once kept the system on task and in flow, slowly drop and fade until the last menstrual cycle passes through and the female reproductive years are officially completed.
However, there’s more to menopause than the science or Western medicine’s definition. There’s deeper meaning and growth for women while the body is shifting and molting its representations of youth. There’s opportunity for enlightenment during menopause. Our Native ancestors appreciated the power of change. Hopefully, if we’re open and willing, we can too.
One of the most common signs of perimenopause is the intensity and increase in mood swings. What used to be part of a hormonal and cyclical pattern becomes more frequent and unexpected. While our estrogen levels start to peter off, how menopause changes your brain can be amplified through anxiety, depression, irritability, crying episodes, and insomnia escalating in our day to day. We start to become less tolerant of our loved ones or living situations, question our purpose or what we’re going to do with our lives once our childbearing or child-rearing days are over.
And while sometimes incorporating hormones, medication, herbs and/or other self-care means are healthy and perfectly fine to do, it’s important to note that these strong, emotional responses to our physical shift aren’t there just to make our lives miserable. They’re there to wake us up. To remind us of the free spirited, wild woman we once were (or have always longed to be). Brene Brown said it best (and I highly recommend reading the entire blog containing this excerpt):
“I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:
I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go…”
To put it simply, our intense emotions are there to remind us we’ve reached our life’s halfway point. Our menopause rhapsody makes its mark memorable for a reason: nomore time for excuses or childish delays in finding and embracing our purpose on this planet. Whatever has stood in the way of our goals or aspirations, are no longer serving our spirit and if we don’t start putting ourselves as a priority, things are going to get beyond rough. And that goes for everyone else in our lives too.
Establishing a new or repairing an old spiritual foundation is one of the first steps to menopause enlightenment. Does it mean sacrificing our religion or the faith we’ve been practicing since childhood? Not necessarily. Spirituality and religion isn’t the same thing. Religion is more about uniting groups of people that share similar values and principles in communicating with the Higher Power. But spirituality is all about connecting with the authentic and truest Self. It enhances your mental health. Without spirituality, religion can’t and won’t enhance mental health – if anything it can harm and disturb the psyche. That’s where menopause can be woman’s most powerful spiritual awakening.
Before menopause, a woman can follow any path out of obligation, self-doubt, or desperation. During it though, the Universe holds a mirror in front of her. And if for any reason she should find her religion or faith negatively affecting her spiritual foundation, well, that’s for her to decide how she wants to proceed. But ultimately, midlife is usually a time when women stop following and start leading. We snatch back the reigns of our life and through our awakening, soul shaking, and self-reckoning, we come to terms with what we need to fully evolve into our new self.
Midlife is usually a time when women stop following and start leading. We snatch back the reigns of our life and through our awakening, soul shaking, and self-reckoning, we come to terms with what we need to fully evolve into our new self.
Sure, common questions have many women scouring Google: Do I need natural supplements or hormone therapy? Will menopause affect my sex drive? Do I still need to see my ob/gyn or get routine Pap smears?
But many questions aren’t so easy to put into words. Will my marriage survive menopause? Am I going crazy? What is my life purpose – who am I? These questions are more in line with what women entering or fully enmeshed in their menopausal changes are wondering. And while I wish there were clear and concise answers, truth is, we each have to dig deep within ourselves to find them.
Our younger years are often spent serving others. We focus our energy on meeting the status quo and prioritizing the community first. The media, cultures, and sometimes our own mother’s have taught us that doing so will then make us happy. But guess what? That’s not true. Especially when we’ve forgotten what or how to fill our tanks. Taking the time to listen to our inner voice during this emotional upheaval can be the most difficult test of our lives, but if we really listen and then act accordingly for our OWN best interest (to hell with the community or our families if they can’t support us), our next phase can be the richest, most delicious years of our lives.
Taking the time to listen to our inner voice and act in our OWN best interest, our next phase can be the richest, most delicious years of our lives.
Over the course of the weeks, months, and years of our menopausal period we can listen to, learn from and uplift each other in such a way that our daughters, granddaughters, and beyond will see their midlife to be the honorable and sacred time our ancestors once revered. After all, spiritual, emotional, and physical changes like menopause are just rebirths of our truest selves. And since this birth-death-rebirth element isn’t too different from most other life cycles, we have the obligation to the Universe, nature, and our spirit to keep the circle going: perimenopause our birth of a new cycle, menopause a death of an old one, and midlife a rebirth of dreams and deepest desires for ourselves. Don’t blink! You won’t want to miss this phase. From what I hear from some older, wiser women who’ve made it through, it’s the best one yet!
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